Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls

The short:

Yuck.  Why did I buy these? 0/10

The long:

Pillsbury cinnamon rolls from a tube promise warm, sticky goodness on nearly a moment’s notice.  Good idea, bad execution.

Pillsbury roll

Pillsbury cinnamon roll. How do they make the icing so white?!

Let’s start with the size.  These things — I hesitate to call them “rolls” — are about 30% the mass of yesterday’s Byerly’s rolls.  Three or four bites, and they’re gone.  Let me put it a different way: these rolls are so small that they have roughly the same mass as a slice of sandwich bread.

And are those tasty bites?  Heck no!

The texture is unappealingly homogeneous.  I’m not sure what sort of trickery Pillsbury employed to make these things rise while they’re baking, but the chemistry seems to have contributed to them coming out as one big lump instead of a multi-layered delight.  You know how much fun it is to unroll each layer of a cinnamon roll and enjoy its segmented goodness?  Can’t do that with these.

Pillsbury roll with bite

A Pillsbury roll with a bite. Note the lack of layers/spirals

Things really go downhill once you get a tiny piece in your mouth.  The taste is like… something… hmmm… a chemical factory?  It’s bad.

Very little cinnamon flavor.  Horrendous artificial “cream cheese” icing — no actual cream cheese, just partially hydrogenated oils and god-knows-what chemicals.  Seriously, that icing is really, really awful.  It’s about as close to real cream cheese frosting in flavor as watermelon Jolly Ranchers are to real watermelons.

You might think you’ll be saved if you stop after that first bite, but how wrong you’ll be: that fake-as-a-politician taste will linger longer than your unemployed college buddy surfing your couch.

Fortunately, I had a roommate to pawn these off on, thus saving my palate from chemical doom.  (Thanks for taking one for the team, Rob!)

Key stats:

  • 40 g/roll
  • $2.69/8 = $0.34/roll + tax
  • “Cream cheese” frosting (artificially flavored)
  • Time since baked when eaten: fresh from oven
  • Temperature when eaten: warm

Where to get them:

Don’t.  Ok, you really want some?  Why?  And are you seriously asking me where to buy refrigerated ready-to-bake cinnamon rolls in a tube?  Sheesh.

10 Responses to Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls

  1. Pingback: Immaculate Baking Co. Cinnamon Rolls | Cinnamon Roll Review

  2. Hello

    I can’t quite believe my eyes. Your comments are truly offensive and just plain WRONG. Clearly you have broken taste buds, either that, or, these were introduced to you by an ex-girlfriend, and as you are in such pain over the break up, have decided to take it out on a beautiful, tasty, mouth-watering, easy on the eye, glossy, dream-fulfilling, snack product instead of your ex.
    These goodies are possibly the only reason I am still alive. Having difficulties in my marriage, i turned to pillsbury for comfort. Not only have I made a real connection to the pillsbury doughboy, but have also developed a strong relationship with these cinnamon rolls.
    If they are so truly awful then why picture them in such a good light? They just look divine! In fact your article has only made me want to go straight out and buy some more. Which is what i am going to do now.

    Good day to you, my poor taste in snack products friend.

  3. I love these much more than the big ostentatious ones sold everywhere else. They are perfect and I hope the company never changes a thing in their recipe.
    Just sayin’ I think they’re pretty damn good.

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  5. Hmmm I was looking for ideas to get creative and make them bigger and better. I don’t feel like going out and I want to use what I’ve got at home… Any ideas???

  6. These are the only true cinnamon rolls in existence. I disagree with everything said in this review. If you can unroll a cinnamon roll, you bought the wrong ones.

  7. I can’t believe I keep fooling myself after all these years I still think they are going to improve the recipe and no they have not. These are the worst rolls, no texture, no flavor except for the sugar on top which is not that great. Some of Pillsbury’s rolls are great. I should just probably put bisqits from them and put cinnamon on them. They would be better and less expensive. I am thinking of suing them for false advertising. These are really bad and they have never been good.

    Yuk

  8. I can’t believe I keep fooling myself after all these years I still think they are going to improve the recipe and no they have not. These are the worst rolls, no texture, no flavor except for the sugar on top which is not that great. Some of Pillsbury’s rolls are great. I should just probably put bisqits from them and put cinnamon on them. They would be better and less expensive. I am thinking of suing them for false advertising. These are really bad and they have never been good.

  9. I used to enjoy the cinnamon rolls occasionally. Since they changed to cinnabon icing they aren’t as good. They couldn’t have done a public taste test before switching.

  10. I’m REALLY hoping those people above me touting the goodness of these rolls are joking. These are terrible. We refer to them as cinnamon biscuits, because all they really consist of is a canned biscuit with a few cinnamon chips on top. There isn’t a cinnamon roll to it at all. I want to say that these used to be actual cinnamon rolls and at some point they changed them. I can’t really say though because we always buy the Kroger brand; theirs is an actual cinnamon roll and the flavor is much improved. But yeah people, to reflect the poster, do not buy these.

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